Monday, 26 July 2010
Today I borrowed £4.50 from the NSPCC snack box in work to pay for a quartercut bottle of whiskey to drown my sorrows on a Monday night. Except Im three quarters of the way through the bottle and my sorrows arnt even paddling yet let alone dead by drowning. I think next time I should steal more and buy half a bottle. Oops, I mean borrow.
Yes money should be appearing back in my life on Wednesday when I pick up the remainder of my things from my recently ex boyfriends lovely new house. He's agreed to lend me £30 until payday which is a lot more than I deserve after dumping him in a park 2 weeks ago, telling him that i'm leaving the country indefinatly in 3 months and thats all after promising to spend the rest of my life with him a month earlier. Especially seen as I already owe him £600. Yes, I am a cunt. A skint and vunerable cunt but a cunt none the less.
I've spent the last weekend cleaning out my lovely room in my lovely flat with my lovely housemates in preperation for the next 3 months of saving for the big travelling adventure which I am about to embark on. Only it doesnt seem like I'm about to embark on anything much except lonlieness and despression in a shit stained bedsit in West London, which I still havent found, so maybe it wont be shitstained. But it probobly will. It's starting to become pretty obvious that Im not 100% sure Ive made the right decision. But as my ever understanding and sympathetic friend Charlotte said to me earlier, 'well you've made your bed Hannah, now you better fucking lay in it'. Cheers mate.
So I owe the little kids at the NSPCC £4 plus the Yorkie and Packet of salt and vinegars which I pinched today, which makes it £5.10. I owe my landlord £100 and my ex boyfriend £600, soon to be £630. I owe some horrible debt collecting company £24 for some bills I must have fucked up 2 years ago, plus court charges which Ive probobly incurred by now - I'd know for sure if I had the balls to open thier letters / answer thier phone calls / generally be a grown up and sort my shit out. Grand total of £756.10 owed. Not to mention the thousands of pounds student debt I've aquired without actually bothering to find out if I managed to scrape a degree yet, 2 years after I should have been throwing that gay fucking cap in the air and making my parents proud. Oh yeah and I owe myself some self respect. I think i'll put that one on the back burner.