As the title of this blog entry suggests, I got sacked from my job. Gross Misconduct was the official line, unoffically it was more about me being caught on CCTV shagging my new boyfriend in the relaxation room. It wouldnt have been too bad had I not that day intended to move out of my cosy safe flat filled with friends and comfort into the freezing cold solitary square metre of bedroom in Perivale which I had selected soley on the basis of it being walking distance from my work building, a building which, post sacking, I was understandably reluctant to even walk past let alone enter. After I had been escorted off the premises and was waiting for my partner in crime to be sacked as well I realised that I needed a plan, I needed a solution.. so me and James did the only sensible thing - bought a bottle of vodka, found the nearest park, got pissed and tried to have sex in the bushes.
I never did move into Perivale so lost out on my fifty quid holding deposit and even more crushingly the chance to watch TV through a plasic bag in the garden with a group of Iranian men. That could have been such a good blog entry. But for every shit area you dont move to theres a shit area you do - enter Kidbrooke.
Over to Wikipedia...
'Kidbrooke is a district of south London, England, located in the London Borough of Greenwich.
The district takes its name from the Kyd Brook, a watercourse which runs from Orpington to Lewisham, by which point it is part of the River Quaggy. It is a tributary to the River Ravensbourne.'
So far sounds quite nice, like a cross between Sherwood Forest and Watership Down... but the rent is so cheap here surely there must be a catch..?
'Kidbrooke is also home to the Ferrier Estate, one of the largest and most deprived council housing developments in London.'
Oh. I think that might be the catch.
'Famous residents have included comedian Jim Davidson, who grew up in Holburne Road; interior designer Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, who lived in a bungalow on Kidbrooke Park Road until 2004; and singer Sandie Shaw. English West Ham United player Junior Stanislas.'
Wow. Just wow. Never in a million years did I think i'd be treading the same cobbles as a young Jim Davidson. And Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen lived JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM ME 6 YEARS AGO!!!??? This is better than I could ever imagined! That little celebrity relalation almost makes up for the complete lack of anything to fucking do at all. Almost. But not really at all actually because I cant even get poxy phone signal in my bedroom (from my BUNK BED), theres no internet and to make sure no one escapes or has any evening jollies there's no night busses.
Kidbrooke = shit place to live, no wonder Llewelyn Bowen fucked off he's far too jazzy for a place like this. Jim Davisdon though I can still see fitting in quite well.